Entry 2,397 - Entry 2,432
Entry 2,397 - January 7, 2025
Christianity is actually closer to Hinduism and Paganism than it is to Judaism when it comes to worship.
Jews do not worship anything that was, is, or will be in human form, but Fundamental Christians do.
Similar to Hinduism, where devotees have a close relationship with their guru, who is believed to be God embodied, Christians have that with Jesus.
Entry 2,398 - January 7, 2025
Everyone I've encountered and gotten to know personally who is a hyper-religious Christian (over-the-top, always talking, thinking, and focused on the concepts of Christianity to the point where they use it as a crutch to be present) is miserable in their day-to-day life.
Entry 2,399 - January 11, 2025
What if "autism" is a precursor to identifying advanced levels of conscious communication, in the sense that people with autism value honesty in conversations, relationships, etc., over dishonesty?
What if it is an evolutionary benefit for society to adopt what is considered "not socially apt," but is really a refusal to cater to dishonesty in order to keep people complacent within systems of oppression and under the control of oppressors? If no one honestly speaks up, the narcissist will continue to run the company as a narcissist would: selfishly, promoting only the people they like who bow down to them, creating unnecessary discord, etc.
If honesty is considered socially inept, then we will continue to have people and systems that value dishonesty in order to perpetuate oppression.
One hallmark of autistic people is their need to speak the truth.
Entry 2,400 - January 11, 2025
There are some obvious giveaways as to where someone’s energy predominantly lives. For example, if someone uses God as an excuse to take other people’s land and murder everyone on it, there’s a good chance they are not coming from a place of enlightenment but rather from a place of selfishness.
By trying to excuse their actions of harming an entire nation, they say, “God told them to,” and if they didn’t harm them, then God would harm them. It’s utter nonsense. If the actual Creator is for love and peace, for all mankind to live in harmony, then the god they speak of—forcing them to kill and obey—sounds more like a war god, another entity masquerading as the Creator, our own projection of who God is on something outside of us. The fruit of someone’s actions and who they blame gives us a point of reference to see where their vibrations lie.
Entry 2,401 - January 11, 2025
Realization
I watched Fall Guy last night, and it dawned on me. After seeing how present the actors were, I realized that movies where the actors are so extremely present serve as positive reinforcements for presence.
Imagine a movie where the actors played characters who were so stuck in the past or future that they represented people in our daily lives—so intensely detached from reality, so disassociated from the present—that it's as if they're not even here, which, literally, they aren’t. That would be a terrible movie, in my opinion. Now, I understand if they were representing a specific period in someone’s life, but if the character is constantly absent, there is no connection. It’s lost. Poof. Where’s the anchor? There is none.
Entry 2,402 - January 13, 2025
I'd say that, as of right now, about 90% of my thoughts are ideas on how to make the world a better place (reducing plastic use, eco-friendly homes, higher wages for all workers), and about 10% are stories the ego creates out of the past.
Entry 2,403 - January 13, 2025
In Zen Buddhism, the rituals and traditions act as a container for the conditioned mind to be exposed.
In Vipassana Buddhism, specific meditation techniques act as a container for the conditioned mind.
Zen takes a more holistic approach by making every aspect of one's life containerized to bring awareness to the ego.
Vipassana is more specific, attuning people to the present moment by starting directly with the body as a roadmap for exploring it.
Both are invaluable. Both are helpful, and they eventually bring people to the same realization. They guide people beyond the conditioned mind of pain/pleasure, beyond the past/future, and back into the infinite oneness of the present moment.
Entry 2,404 - January 13, 2025
I am realizing that there is a story the ego tells about the past, and there are a multiplicity of stories the ego can tell about our dreams when we go to bed.
The key is inner presence, and the story will unfold in the present moment.
Entry 2,405 - January 19, 2025
Quotes from Adyashanti
Of course, the reason I ask you to inquire into what you are is because, at this moment, you are living the answer. Nothing that I would tell you is a substitute for that aliveness, for that living of the answer. That's why it has been said many times that only the people who don't know who they are, are the ones who are awake. Everyone else knows who he or she is. They are their script, whatever their script is, even if that script is, "I'm not awake." Awakeness is to have no script, to know that ultimately a script is just a script, and a story is just a story.
The point is not to get rid of thoughts or feelings, but just not to feel located inside of them.
The more sincerely, you experientially enter the unknown, the more you become disarmed.
when the role called beginning "I'm a human being" ends, we call that death. It's a lot easier if you let the role die before the body dies, and let it be put to rest now. Through satsang you can awaken into being what you eternally are and have true life.
nothing disturbs, openness. Nothing disturbs your true nature. We only get disturbed when we close ourselves by identifying with a particular point of view, a concept of who I am or who I believe or feel myself to be; we go into opposition against what's happening. But when we are being our true nature, which is openness, we find that we're actually not in opposition to anything .
when you liberate yourself, it's not just your self, it is the Self that is liberated. You're remembering everybody's Self because it's the same Self. When this is realized, it enables the total transformation of human interaction.
there is no self-image that doesn't have a wall and no self-image that doesn't entail suffering. Not only do you have your own walls, but there are also walls you project onto other people, the images you have of them that prevent you from seeing their true nature.
now the funny thing about the Truth, or enlightenment, or awakening, is that we miss it even though it's not hidden. It's not far away waiting for a moment when we deserve it. It is hard to find because it is right here. This openness has always been here.
that's why, in the re-remembering, and the deepest coming to your Self, there is a freedom to actually be here, living this life without fear.
another aspect of openness is intimacy. The quickest access to truth, and also to beauty, is when you are totally intimate with all of experience, the inner and the outer, even if the experience isn't "good." When you are being intimate with a whole of experience, the mind has to let go of whatever it's project is at the moment. In this intimacy, one becomes very open and discovers a vastness. Whether the qualities of the experience are unpleasant or beautiful, as soon as you were intimate with the whole of experience, there is opennes.
The only use of thought that has power is a rational process that goes right to the edge of thought, and then stops. It lets something else deliver whatever needs to be delivered, much like Einstein did when he took the thinking process to the end and then let it be delivered. Then the unborn perfectly manages everything just because it has been intimate with experience.
The quickest access to this openness to your true nature, is not so much by thinking, but through the five senses. For example, if you listen to the whole moment, and not just the sounds available to the ears, if you feel the entirety of the whole moment, you will be opened to be on the limited space of the me. There is a particular feeling in your body, and you just feel it – it stretches. You feel the absolute quietness. You feel the birds. You feel what it is like to feel a sound.
The five senses gives you immediate access beyond the virtual reality. Mind, to something that is not mentally created. It is amazing when you start to let your five senses open up. You realize that 99% of your problem was that you had everything confined, focused in One Direction, only, and when you open to the hole, everything becomes clear. as soon as you start to suffer, you notice that your five senses have given up focusing on the whole and our instead focused on only one thing, which causes suffering.
Entry 2,406 - January 19, 2025
People who constantly complain about systemic abuse, how they're a victim of this or that, and how they cannot advance because of patriarchy, transphobia, etc., are stuck knee-deep in a victim mentality.
The victim mentality has expanded to reach a broader range of reasons, giving the ego more strength in its attempt to have you identify with it.
Every victim mentality is an egoic identification and holds you back. When you allow this, you create unnecessary limitations that keep you from abundance, joy, and presence.
Let it go. Notice how the only resistance to releasing it comes not from you as the I Am, but from your ego, which is temporary.
Victim mentalities are cancerous, and the minute they pop up, focus intensely on the present moment, and they will dissolve away, leaving no ill effect on you.
Entry 2,407 - January 19, 2025
Enlightenment is like a rock and a crystal. They both are it.
Entry 2,408 - January 19, 2025
The number of times I've woken up from dreams or meditations where I was in a different body and was very lucid—life is stranger than it may seem. The more you meditate, the more your "past/future" lives feel similar to recalling events in your current life that happened years ago.
All past and future lives are an extension of you. You never lose the memories. They exist forever. Nothing to fear with multiple lives lived.
Entry 2,409 - January 19, 2025
Be aware of the evolution from the non-spiritual ego to the spiritual ego. Many people incorrectly label this transition of the ego as their "spiritual awakening."
They start using words like "normies" or "those stuck in the matrix." There is still very much an us vs. them mentality; it has merely changed terms from whatever it was before, whether it was a religious-oriented ego or a secular-oriented ego.
The "better than them" attitude still lives in them whenever they identify with this spiritual ego. The spiritual ego hides cleverly in plain sight by using spirituality that focuses on the past or the future.
For example, they'll fixate on hours and hours of tarot readings, trying to diagnose their past or future. They'll try to "heal the ego" but don’t realize they are merely transitioning into a new ego paradigm—which is neither good nor bad—but it most definitely is not the place to look for enlightenment, nirvana, or awakening.
They'll spend hours consulting psychics, mediums, and soothsayers, asking about the future, not realizing these are the attachments and desires of the ego, not of their true Self. They'll get stuck in rabbit holes and judgments that stop them from experiencing peace in the present moment.
Years could go by where they are so identified with their spiritual ego that time flies by, and they realize they were rarely, if ever, truly present. They'll long for those missed days—back when they were always thinking of the past and the future. They'll wish for them back, not realizing they are still stuck in the past.
This type of spirituality, driven by the spiritual ego, is madness and a waste of time. It accomplishes nothing truly noteworthy when it comes to inquiring into who we truly are.
Anytime you notice your ego throwing thoughts from the past and future at you over and over, keeping you dissociated from the present, observe the ego and watch it. Be aware of its attempts and simply come back to the present moment. Notice how the ego softly dissolves away when one stays in the present for prolonged periods of time—how peace melts into every part of your experience and makes you feel your wholeness again.
Now, THAT is true spirituality—not driven by the spiritual ego, but by the I Am, the Being, the Oneness.
Entry 2,410 - January 21, 2025
The goal is not to break the game but to enhance the game. When one becomes enlightened/self-realized/awakened, it doesn't mean they automatically know all past, present, and future occurrences, nor that nothing is hidden.
Rather, Life as Unconditional Love no longer has the barriers of the ego, such as trauma, to temporarily stop it from being expressed without limit.
The unknown is still respected. This Life is not meant to take away your humanity and make you a god. This Life is here to enhance your humanity so that you remember who you are, and this remembrance is reflected in how you perceive the world, interact with the world, and engage in action.
Every thought, idea, belief, and action is dipped gloriously in unconditional love. You become truly a human being—where light and dark may temporarily exist, but unconditional love still finds a way to be expressed steadily, consistently, and adeptly within and without, for yourself and for others.
You cannot help but perform miracles (unconditional love). You cannot help but laugh merrily. You cannot help but feel unending peace, no matter the circumstances. The underlying peace exists even during the toughest times, the most traumatic moments, and the hardest emotions.
It doesn't mean all bad emotions cease to be felt, but rather that the underlying current of peace still exists while you are experiencing the light and the dark, the easy and hard emotions that come with being human.
I repeat: being enlightened does not automatically dissolve the emotional body, but rather enhances and streamlines its functions. You still feel emotions. You still empathize with others. You can still connect with others emotionally. But now, the ego can no longer unconsciously use your emotional body to drag you into the repression of your emotions.
The ego has been brought to the light. Its devices have been exposed for what they are: all attempts to achieve immortal identification with the I Am by habitually making the I Am stay unconsciously identified with the past or future in any way it can. The ego, as a program, is fully realized as that: the fact that it is merely a program—a temporary identification system to experience the other side of temporary duality. Nothing more, nothing less.
Entry 2,411 - January 21, 2025
David R. Hawkins' calibrated consciousness scale can be abused like any other framework of reality.
When it is used to classify people as "better" or "worse," then it is being used as a tool for the ego to make itself feel superior.
When it is used to bring awareness to one's ideas, thoughts, and beliefs that one is unconsciously identified with, then it is being used as a temporary tool for expanding unconditional love in one's life.
Entry 2,412 - January 22, 2025
There are thousands of ways to approach a scenario. The minute the ego tries to tell you that you're responsible for someone's rude, disrespectful, or demeaning behavior—that you deserved it for whatever reason—remember that the ego is trying to convince you of this so it can stay sad, depressed, and upset.
The reality is that if someone has an issue with you or with mistakes you've made, there are thousands of ways to address it. They are fully capable of doing so in a heartfelt, honest, loving, and respectful way.
They don't have to compromise any of those values to help you learn and grow in the way they want you to. They don’t have to treat you like shit to get their message across. You are not responsible for the way they chose to convey their message.
Have some dignity, and when people stoop low, set boundaries with their behavior. Be firm. Be straightforward, and refuse to accept being treated that way.
Entry 2,413 - January 22, 2025
I realized I don’t prepare for my conversations beforehand, so I don’t know when to set boundaries until after the conversation. So, prepare beforehand.
Entry 2,414 - January 23, 2025
Weirdly, Zen has been one of the best trainings I've received—not only for being more present daily but also as an actor. We read a book about Zen while in grad school for acting, but being in it is a whole new ride.
Entry 2,415
From someone who used to feel trapped by my body and hated it, this is how I began to heal my relationship with my body: I would envision myself going in as a "captain cell" to my body's control center, using an intercom to speak to all the cells in my body, telling them how grateful I was for them and how proud I was of their hard work in keeping this body alive. I'd then see the cells so happy that they’d hug one another and be filled with joy from being loved and seen.
Entry 2,416 - January 24, 2025
I realized I feel guilty for being human.
Entry 2,417 - January 26, 2025
Fundamental and stringent versions of religion have been linked to childhood trauma and weak critical thinking skills.
Entry 2,418 - January 27, 2025
During meditation, I realized why the show Hannah Montana resonated with me so much...
I felt like the mask I wore every day was similar to Miley living her life normally, while my true, authentic self was similar to the Hannah Montana that she was. That felt equivalent to my true, vibrant self—the self that could shine through, who I came here as, without any filters, masks, or hideouts.
The Self was able to shine through this authentic Ky self, and it was just a matter of time.
The Self technically could still shine through the mask I call "Shawty," but it was muddled, less energetic, less true, and more complicated because there were major issues with the mask.
The mask was inherently dishonest. It was created to protect me from people's rejection and the possibility of being abandoned by those who supposedly loved me but whom I knew loved their religion more than me. The mask felt more like a leech of energetic resources—it was exhausting to wear day in and day out just to keep the façade going.
When I would take off the mask from time to time, it felt liberating, freeing, joyful. My favorite times were at home, where I felt comfortable enough to take off the mask because there was no one to question why I had it in the first place, judge me for taking it off, or even abandon me.
Entry 2,419 - January 27, 2025
Why did I used to care so much about what other people thought?
Now that I realize it’s not even the Self judging me (who they truly are), but rather the ego—an impersonal field that can change and fluctuate rapidly at any moment—why would I care what their impersonal field thinks about me? Why would I look to other people’s egos for validation of who I am when the ego is nimble, impermanent, and constantly fluctuating?
There is so much data for the senses to take in, and the ego acts as a filter—deciding what to take in, how to organize the data, and how to judge it. Since there is an influx of data, the ego will pick and choose that which reminds it of itself, then either project dislike and negativity onto it or create attachments to what it likes.
It is a field that is does not operate in wholeness as the Self does. It was programmed with strengths and weaknesses. It is utterly meant to fail over and over again. But that is part of the game! Failing and winning are gamified experiences that allow us to enjoy the game. Don’t hate the game—merely enjoy it. Flow with it. Have fun with it. Use the ego to explore, but from the Self, stay open and unfiltered.
The ego attempts at all times to filter things into classifications of judgment, which creates unnecessary suffering. Train the ego to simply be the ego—not to fragment life into tiny segments, but to let the wholeness of the Self shine through without resistance.
Entry 2,420 - January 27, 2025
The story line of God needing a sacrifice and physical blood to forgive is strange and incoherent. People are still scared out of their minds of a God who can’t simply forgive because he supposedly made a dungeon-like, forever place called hell for people who believe incorrectly and didn’t "atone with the blood." That’s creepy.
Jesus dying and rising again to show that death is an illusion is more coherent, less creepy, and encourages people to not fear death, the afterlife, or the Creator.
Entry 2,421 - January 27, 2025
Just in case there’s a day when I experience a consistent state of Nirvana (the end of suffering)—which I personally don’t know if I want to experience because suffering is what makes me human—I have gladly created a paper trail of all my journals physical and virtual throughout the years. They clearly indicate mistakes (or, as Christians like to label them, sins) so that no one can try to create a dichotomy between me and others by deifying me while saying others aren’t.
Entry 2,422 - January 27, 2025
Bringing up religious stories from time to time isn’t bad, but those who are attached, addicted, or obsessed with them to the point that they only reference them reveal something deeper happening within their psyche. What I’ve noticed is that people who bring them up all the time and rarely, if ever, reference stories from their own lives tend to live highly dissociated lives.
Think about it. Imagine if you had a friend who only used stories from his friend’s life to relate to you, share with you, and so on. It’d be a little sus, don’t you think? Now, granted, Bible stories are centuries old, but the principle is similar. Always referencing other people’s lives while never taking the time to integrate, learn from, expand upon, or share stories from your own life with those close to you is a red flag for major dissociation.
Entry 2,423 - January 28, 2025
Popular social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram have shifted from being truly community-oriented apps to being bombarded with random Tumblr-like videos, photos, advertisements, and suggested profiles.
They have become everything but a way to keep in touch with people you know. Facebook has evolved into an attention-sucking, propaganda platform that sells your attention for actual profit.
Entry 2,424 - January 29, 2025
Living in the flow naturally activates the blueprint of your soul.
Life filtered through your beliefs is life filtered through anything that subverts you from the blueprint of your soul.
Your soul's will is connected to God's will. They are the same.
Your ego's will is a temporary program, updated and fluctuating constantly based on beliefs acquired from the past or future.
Entry 2,425 - January 30, 2025
When you consistently live in the 500s on the David R. Hawkins scale of calibrated consciousness, orgasming isn’t just a phenomenon that happens in the bedroom—it becomes a natural byproduct throughout the day, whether you’re doing or not doing various activities. Lifting weights at the gym produces an orgasmic state equivalent to "happy time" in the bedroom. Listening to music I enjoy produces an orgasmic state.
Laughing with loved ones produces an orgasmic state. Remembering who I am in the present moment produces an orgasmic state. Since the kundalini energy at the base of the spine has no karmic obstructions getting in the way of its natural route, it can easily move up and down the spine—some days more than others—but nonetheless, it is a continuous phenomenon that makes life even more enjoyable.
One stops idolizing the act of any form of sex to experience such a state. One simply lives as fully as possible in the present moment, allowing it to rise when it is ready and letting it stay down when it is down. This person recognizes that part of the reason for its euphoric, blissful feeling is the rendering of the duality of each moment.
By not having it constantly moving up and down, one can experience the contrast—what it’s like when it is down and what it’s like when it is up. When it does rise, it happens at a much more natural rate of experience—not just in the bedroom.
It’s like if you had access to Disneyland all throughout the day rather than having to plan a trip from Illinois all the way to Disneyland just to experience its joys. This state can be anyone’s natural state—accessible at all times. Forgiveness, presence, and joy help tremendously in removing the obstructions that prevent it from flowing freely.
Entry 2,426 - January 30, 2025
When I lift weights, I do a few things beforehand to maximize the benefits. First, I imagine myself calling all life force power toward me to achieve unprecedented performance and personal bests. I imagine this life force energy filling my body with so much vitality that there is no way I can’t not have a PR.
Doing this naturally puts me in an orgasmic state—I feel the kundalini rise up to my head, creating pleasurable tingles that spread throughout my body depending on how aware I am of the process. Then, I leverage this orgasmic state and use it to lift far beyond my original capacity.
And since I do not have restrictions in my karmic spine preventing the kundalini from flowing freely, this energy doesn’t run out quickly—it is sustained. I don’t suddenly lose energy and feel the urge to sleep. Instead, it simply recycles back up like a feedback loop. This energy is powerful, sustainable, and can help you lift far beyond your normal limits.
Entry 2,427 - January 31, 2025
I know how to harness and energy from the universe non-locally, and I would be very efficacious if I were on a stage singing or performing theatre. However, I’m still learning how to localize it in a specialized way. There are times when I can do it, but it’s almost like hitting a three-pointer in a game randomly because I haven't shot hundreds of thousands of three-pointers beforehand to make it second nature.
Or, it’s like studying for a Calculus exam but not practicing every type of problem. Since you don’t have the knowledge of every type or memorization from repeated exposure, you have to figure it out on the spot, and there’s a chance you’ll get one part of a twenty-minute problem wrong—even though you might still get some of it correct.
Entry 2,428 - February 3, 2025
Honesty without tact is cruelty—damaging, selfish, and degrading. Honesty with love is a blessing—helpful, selfless, and uplifting.
Yes, choose honesty, but with tact.
Entry 2,429 - February 4, 2025
The biggest thing the Zen center showed me was how to stay in the flow of life. When you're grounded, you move with the flow, not against it. When I do, the I Am leads this body effortlessly. I just have to focus on staying in the flow. Then, I am free to be exactly who I came here to be.
There’s no point in remembering any of your past lives if you cannot even stay present long enough to see what this life is desperately trying to show you right now.
Entry 2,430 - February 6, 2025
The reason why many versions of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and New Ageism aren't as effective as focusing on being present is that they encourage identification with the ego through identification with thoughts, beliefs, and concepts. This leads one to become lost in the delusion of I am my thoughts, or I am saved by my beliefs, or I must stay within my conceptual framework or else I will be punished.
This I must is really just the ego masquerading as you. It’s a form of identification with something that exists either in the past or the future—but not in the now—so it is an illusion. This illusion traps people in unnecessary suffering, making them believe their problems are caused by others, leading to religious wars and the belief that enemies are responsible for all their suffering.
The paths that focus on grounding and being present (Eckhart Tolle’s presence practice, Zen Buddhism, Adyashanti) are extremely effective for reducing unnecessary suffering. They encourage one to be present and to drop unnecessary self-identifications with thoughts, beliefs, and concepts.
Entry 2,431 - February 7, 2025
Religion is positive and acts for the betterment of all when it reminds its followers that they are one with unconditional love.
Religion is negative and detrimental to society when it attempts to instill in its followers the belief that they are separate from unconditional love.
Entry 2,432 - February 7, 2025
The past is a prologue, not a prison.
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