Entry 2,534 - Entry 2,541

Entry 2,534 - Saturday, Aug 2, 2025 at 2:25 PM

Per my blueprint, I operate best as I was intended to be: a visionary, not a cog in the wheel. 

 

State Highway Patrol is a cog in an already-created wheel. 

 

I was meant to fix large systems, solve problems, and teach others, not be a cog in the wheel of an already established company.

 

Entry 2,535 - Wednesday, Aug 6, 2025 at 2:45 AM

 

Future me scares the HELL out of me. It feels like I'm entering the twilight zone. Like I feel as if all it is, is this all-seeing eye. Formlessness inhabited by form. That level of inhumaneness scares me. I don't want to be less human. I actually want to be more human. I don't want to transform into some limitless creature. I want to lead a conscious initiative of humans advancing their human consciousness. Why do I keep seeing strange, very alien future versions of me that are most definitely NOT human...?

 

 

Entry 2,536 - Saturday, Aug 9, 2025 at 12:31 PM

  Truth is, most people don't know that much in-depth knowledge of psychology. Part of the issue is, so many people are on their phones all day. Researchers actually think because of that, many people are getting worse at decoding body language. Even though it's worse, you can't get rid of the gut feeling. Even though you can't explain why it's off, you know it's off.

 

When you look into a sociopath's eyes, and I'm not talking about a sociopath getting help in therapy and making it work; no, I'm talking about the type that acts like a thirsty, apex predator and doesn't give a shit, when you look into their eyes and they give you that dead stare, you know something's off. You may not want to believe it. You may try to think it's not a big deal, but it is.

 

This is why I studied psychology from as many sources I could handle while working: to largely learn how to protect my friends and family from predators who knew they were predators and enjoyed it, who got a rush from destroying people and gaining power at the expense of other people's well-being. 

 

Entry 2,537 - Sunday, Aug 31, 2025 at 11:19 PM 

 

Contrary to popular religious belief, there is both a positive side to the qualities one normally labels as "selfish" or "dark," as well as a negative side to qualities oftentimes associated with "selflessness" or "light." 

 

Entry 2,538 - Monday, Sep 1, 2025 at 3:40 PM 

 

As beautiful as our time on earth is, there will still be those who hate you, make up lies about you, and try to destroy you, but don't worry, the truth will always prevail. I went to a place where an "anonymous individual" started strange, outlandish rumors about me that were terribly executed, and I was obviously found innocent, and all their claims were moved to the Bias Initiative Response Team, where I was checked on to make sure I was okay.

 

Just know, no matter who you are, you will come across these people sooner or later. It's inevitable for us all until we collectively decide to bring heaven on earth by our thoughts, words and deeds. As of now, it's part of the human experience. They are not to be feared, but rather to be eventually appreciated for the strength you gained by facing them. The people who know you will know how ridiculous the rumors are. People who don't care enough to inquire into the validity of those claims will believe their lies, but that still doesn't add to or take away from who you are, and their opinion about a rumor literally doesn't matter. And the people who know you will laugh at how ridiculous those rumors are.

 

My recommendation is to prepare yourself now for these people. Listen to your gut. Meditate. Read books on psychology, and you'll pick up these patterns much faster so you can deal with them more skillfully if you have to, but preferably keep your distance. Preparation is key. Remember, it is inevitable until we all choose love. Until then, fear not. For love always wins because it's competition, fear, was never even truly a valid competitor in the first place.

 

Entry 2,539 - Monday, Sep 8, 2025 at 9:46 AM 

 

Memory is everything.

The older I get, the more I realize how important memory is for everything.

For strong, healthy, relationships.
For healthy, long careers.
For not making the same rookie mistakes.
For having a progressive edge in the world. 

 

There are also levels of how much memory one uses. There are some people who:

Forget everything. Only remember their waking life. People who remember their waking life and dream-life adventures. People who remember their waking life and dream-life adventures and are "lucid" in both.

 

If we look at all the major issues in the world, I would say two of the absolute worst issues are dementia and Alzheimer's, because people are then unable to create and hold memories any longer. Many times they are just left with memories from decades ago, but they cannot piece them together with the present day. Or worse than all, they don't remember anything.

 

What happens when someone's memory is so bad they forget who they are, all their memories, and cannot form new ones? Who even are they?

 

See, memories are literally what make us who we are. Without memories, we become as if we are no one, nowhere, doing nothing. Even if we did do all that, none of it being recorded in our brains makes it as if it were not done from our perspective. Even if other people record it in their brains, no matter how many times they tell the person they love who they are, what they have done, their relationship, they'll eventually forget it all and start back at not knowing.

 

Without memory, our human experience becomes a sad experience. We live disconnected from others. We live in our own bubbles of reality that don't mean much because we cannot remember what happened the day before.

 

Entry 2,540

 

I was reading a book on Archive from Osho about Tantra, Spirituality, and Sex, and it dawned on me.

The East and the West that both take the "do not" approach are not my preferred approach in this blueprint, which tends to be Yoga and the fundamental branches of the religions on both the East and West.

Those that take the "transcend what others deem as dangerous" approach are most definitely my preferred approach.

I realize, for centuries, the dominant expression of religion and spirituality throughout the literal centuries has been the "do not" approach, the one where they advocate "resisting desire" and "not giving in to temptation," and perceive reality through a lens that looks down on the darkness and upholds the light as virtuous and clean.  

 

I've also realized throughout my many years on this planet that this is a very elementary way of experiencing life as a human. Not necessarily bad, but one could say the kindergartener approach to life as a human.

It doesn't appreciate the messiness of being human... the art of being human. How, in reality, religion and spirituality is just another form of art... another expression of our creative impulse. It is not something separate from our art, but a part of it.

That's why I've always felt what the mainstream view as art (paintings, dance, theatre, singing) is more spiritual and religious than the many religions I've come across. Whenever I come across a religion steeped in "do nots" and dogmas, it feels fake, and fake is funny in its own right, but it's not authentic. It's an expression of what not to do, rather than an expression of freedom, life, joy. 

 

Though Jesus said he had not come to abolish the law, realistically, look what has been made of his coming. People throughout the centuries have used his words to extend Christianity at the expense of people living. They have used Christianity as a sword, as a weapon to murder millions, to wage war on those they deem "unrighteous."

In most ways, Christianity is an entirely different animal. Jesus didn't create Christianity. Man did. What Jesus created was mostly lost, as can be viewed by modern-day versions of it. Go from church to church and you will see what I mean. Of course there will be people who will try very hard to revive Christianity as what it was originally, in terms of not a religion, but as following "The Way" as described in the Bible. But unfortunately, Christianity has become its own destruction.

The Bible, ironically, speaks of its own downfall. The serpent will eat its tail and consume itself until there is nothing left. I have come not to revive Christianity, but rather to revive the minority expressions of religion and spirituality, to help people touch the divine in theatre, dance, singing, living as a human being.

The versions of religions that Catholic churches have murdered because they compromised its power. The people they have sought out to destroy, but could never fully destroy. Isn't it highly ironic that Jesus and his followers, who were persecuted and killed, then supposedly now have followers of them that have gone throughout the centuries to murder and destroy those that they deem "unrighteous," or who "don't convert," or who "believe differently" than the church?

 

Yeah, enough with that low emotional intelligence shit. That un-intellectual hodgepodge of a shit show. I have come to reintroduce the darkness with the light, the shadow in the night. The monks, nuns, and meditators in the Himalayas know what I'm talking about. Meister Eckhart, Nostradamus, and Babaji Krishna know what I'm talking about.

My religion is my art. My art is my body, my breath, my movement. My creations are on paper, on the computer, and in my ability to advance my consciousness. My darkness is my energy, electricity, shockwave of power that cannot be put out. All of this is not understood by the mainstream religious leaders. They would probably denounce me, call me possessed, or even run from it.

Just another reason why to question their authority, to question what exactly they are teaching you. Yes, a little energy attunement to a genuine teacher is not bad. But to an idiot that has no clue how to get you to experience divine bliss while creating art as a human? Yeah, am I really the one possessed, or does he not even know what part of his software is running what? There's a great chance he doesn't even know who he is.

 

Anyone who labels someone as possessed doesn't understand the human soul. They don't understand personality fragmentation. They don't understand that most times what they project you to be is what they're afraid they are: fragmented in their personality, lost, confused, addicted to money, power, and prestige.

Think about these people. These are the people who tell you who you are and have no clue who they are. They don't know where they came from. They don't know anything about where they are going, besides where they believe they are going to go. They don't remember any of this.

When you experience a kundalini awakening, or what I like to call your "butterfly birthday," you RE-member what you forgot. Your pineal gland, charged with DMT, allows memories that extend beyond just this incarnation, memories from before you came here and memories of where you will be. You see life through a cyclical lens, but can also switch back and see life through a linear lens as well. These so-called "teachers" who lead these mainstream religions teach you what they know from the linear playing field.

 

Jesus once said, "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." But also, on top of that, I would say these teachers teach you who they think you are. A real teacher will teach you how to go within and find it out yourself. Yes, they know who you are, but they also know it is not a journey they wish to rob you of by merely giving you every single answer, step by step, with zero mystery. YOU came for the challenge. YOU came for the adventures. Yes, we will help, but part of wisdom is knowing when to help and when to let you challenge yourself.

Tantric is that way. There is no pretty-print manual. There is a journey each consciousness goes through that is so incredibly unique, so incredibly multi-dimensional, that a plop full of stories will never fully encompass what you need or who you are. From the perspective of Tantra, if the Bible is helpful to you, then it would be as if a grain of sand, and you are the ocean. That is Tantra. In mainstream religions such as Christian fundamentalism, the Bible is everything to the Christian, more so than any personal story one might pick up as time goes by. The Bible is literally seen as the Word.

 

But in Tantra, you are seen as the living Word. You breathe life in, and you exhale death. Within your own Oversoul, you contain a whole universe, not figuratively, LITERALLY. You have created so much beautiful art throughout the eons; your human brain is not ripe yet to fully fathom the extent of the universe you contain within you.

Eternity is part of your art. Your art is a part of eternity. 

 

Entry 2,541 - Sunday, Sep 14, 2025 at 3:00 PM 

 

So I've mentioned before how many mainstream religions operate more as morality clubs than as institutions actually advancing their followers' consciousness.

What I mean by that is they focus more on morality in their doctrines and dogmas than they do on building healthy, sustainable systems in the following areas:

Physical & Mental:
Healthy eating habits
Working out every day, zone 1–5
Task management
Planning
Organization
Listening
Neatness
Reliability
Improving the world (less plastic, planting more trees)

Meanwhile, if they are really trying, they may spend less time on doctrine and dogma and more time on:

Spiritual:
Journaling
Prayer
Meditation

Which is better than predominantly speaking on doctrine and dogma with a couple worship songs sprinkled in.

What I'm realizing after my butterfly birthday is that spirituality not thoroughly integrated with present-day living on Earth is poor spirituality. And that's what I'm coming across. Most mainstream churches are headed by unhealthy-looking men who have inflamed guts and just overall fat wobbling side to side. They look pregnant with leathery skin, and it doesn't take a nutritionist to notice they are most definitely not incorporating healthy systems of nutrition, working out, and so forth.

These leaders of these churches should technically be leading the people in who they could be. They realistically should represent at least the top ten percent in health and wellness. If they aren't, then what the fuck are they doing?

See, the issue with many religions is they choose people to be leaders based on how many people they bring to church, or how charismatic they are, or how aligned with the vision, doctrine, and dogma of that particular denomination. It is stupidity. Mere stupidity.

The barometer we are using to judge people as leaders in all current mainstream religions has been shown to be largely ineffective due to the unnecessary bloody wars, murder, infidelity, questionable spending of donors' money, and so forth.

Anyone peering in can see that a majority are failing when it comes to actually advancing their followers' consciousness. It has become too subjective versus objective.

You wouldn't have someone who gets C's in calculus, who is still learning it, teach a whole class in calc. That's absurd and stupid. And realistically we can measure if someone is equipped to teach a class on calc based on their grades, test scores, and track record.

Similarly, I think it is extremely important to realistically and objectively measure someone's capacity to lead within their religion based on objective metrics (health, wellness, systems in place, reliability, etc.).

If they don't meet the requirements, then they cannot lead. It is very simple. If they look obese, unhealthy, never show up on time, don't take responsibility for their issues, then they don't lead.