Entry 2,542 - Entry 2,547

Entry 2,542 - Monday, Sep 15, 2025 at 3:24 PM

Once you get very close to your butterfly birthday, and then when you go through it, you recognize a massive shift in what you focus on.

To even get close to your butterfly birthday, you have to work through A LOT of trauma (I prefer saying trauma over karma because it carries less of a shame/guilt feel). Trauma is something that happens to you. Many times karma is seen as what you do (action), but it doesn't take into account the other forces at work around you.

It's never just you alone acting from our current perspectives, but rather the weather, people, collective thoughts, beliefs, etc., all mixing into our experience. Yes, we have control over our actions, but from our current perspective within our incarnation, there are other things out of our control working with and against us that we are not responsible for from within our current incarnative bodies. And it was meant to be like that for a reason. We were meant to be localized and fixated from a particular perspective that is uniquely ours. 

In the future, when we have a more multi-dimensional consciousness than the ones where we are currently most inhabited in our physical bodies on Earth, we could potentially take more responsibility. So, one can see one's ability to take responsibility is correlated to how many bands of multidimensional reality they can juggle.

Anyways, I spent months on months working through trauma that was keeping me from my death day (butterfly birthday or upgrade in my consciousness). Think of the butterfly birthday as a milestone in one's own effort to upgrade one's consciousness. Obviously, up until that point I've been upgrading it little by little, but once one hits the threshold by the physical barometer that can be measured by where one feels the orgasmic cerebrospinal fluid energy moving in one's body, one can set that as a milestone of all the hard work one has done to get to that point.

Anyways, before that milestone, I spent a lot of time working through heavy and dense trauma. The emotions felt like boulders back then, but I trudged on stubbornly with discipline. I would spend one week on each of my energy centers (also called chakras). I would begin with the base energy center (root chakra), journal about all the trauma potentially associated and symbolized by those organs and parts of my body (tailbone, butt, etc.), and work through any trauma I felt when I would meditate and focus my consciousness on that area. 

Then after a week, I would move up to the next portion of my body, to energy centers such as the reproductive organs (sacral chakra), meditate my consciousness on that part, journal about what would come up, and work through the emotions. I would do that for a week, and then I went all the way to the top.

Eventually, the energy became much more free-flowing as I focused on each part of the body specifically and with intense focus. I could feel a shift in my body. I also was amazed at how the body was literally a map for us on how to reach one's butterfly birthday. It was like our own extremely personalized Bible, with stories, ideas, thoughts, beliefs tied to each organ, each body part, waiting to be explored, opened up, understood, and filled with love.

Eventually, very close to my butterfly birthday, I noticed a massive shift of my attention. Instead of healing parts of my younger self in this current body, I was now helping to heal other versions of me in parallel universes that might have lost their way. Maybe the Ky that ended up marrying a man to appease his parents, never coming out as having Gender Incongruence, and pretending like everything was okay.

I would go to that Ky and help them out through the dream world, because most of the time that Ky wasn't even open to meditation. Many times I would have to use very Christian-like terms to even pierce in and have them listen to me, or else I'd be labeled as a "demonic voice" because I'm unaligned with their current beliefs or ideas on how they should be. It was a very delicate process.

Eventually, I got to a point where, if there was a probable version of me off the path, I would go help them, to the point where I no longer noticed that they needed assistance. And understand I wasn't trying to have them become exactly like me in profession, goals, etc. It was more so in giving them the freedom of what they want to do with their life, but also helping them in major milestones like undoing chronic anxiety, helping them not care what other people think, accepting themselves as trans, getting rid of the fears associated with being their true selves.

This gives the freedom of my extended consciousness in other probable versions to have a certain level of health and wellness and joy as they explore different careers, paths, goals, and ideas, while being their most authentic self. There are probable selves of me that are still very much mainstream Christian as well as out and proud as a transgender man, making a difference in that universe in a way that makes them happy. So be it. My job is not to micromanage, but to inspire and give back the power to all of my consciousness spread out in all these probable universes filled with fun, new experiences.

Eventually, my body was still a map, but I noticed I was receiving "other maps" that were still connected to my consciousness, but were beyond my current physical body in this universe and in probable universes. It was a foreshadowing of the future work I was to do.

Once I hit my butterfly birthday, I noticed that for most of my trauma I was very fast at focusing on it, opening it up, understanding it, filling it with love, and releasing it. Yes, there were still ones that would take years before I truly understood the significance of going through something so traumatic, but they weren't the majority. And now I entered the phase where I was helping other "video game versions of me" in different incarnations often called past lives (even though, technically, all the lives are simultaneous from a particular perspective; we'll say past lives since I am speaking from my current perspective of Ky, who is in a body on Earth).

By "video game versions," I'm jokingly comparing these other incarnations I've been in as if I'm also aware that they are all my experiences that I willingly chose. This helps take away the erroneous viewpoint of one feeling like they are in competition about who is more the Oversoul than the others. It's really me, and I can liken each incarnation to a video game, so I don't get lost in the sauce of that error the ego often plummets into because it doesn't always do the best at grasping my multi-dimensionality.

Also sprinkled in from here and there around the time I came up to my butterfly birthday until now, I've also done collective trauma work. When I was traveling around Europe, I remember Paris — there was a lot of work that I almost felt called to be a part of helping. I was open to it. I was aware of it, and so I did. In the astral world, I would "pick up trash" off the streets and encourage others who were dreaming to do so too.

I held massive talks at historical sites with these people who were dreaming, but for me I was astrally there. Many may not have remembered it, but it still would impact them subconsciously because their dream-self is still connected to their waking self. And for the small minority who are aware of that particular experience in their dreams, or who astral travel themselves, they will hopefully never forget it.

I've even done work for the United States in relation to protecting our nation, troops, etc. This is more of a sensitive topic, but I've done astral work where I have come against enemies and told them, through the astral world, the dire consequences of their actions. Though they may not remember the dream per se, it will still have affected them on a subconscious level.

Now that my "sticky trauma" has been dealt with, I am now very aware of the dreams my Oversoul gives me, and can piece together why it gave them to me. Some will be probable versions of me that had it better than me, and what I could learn from that probable Ky. For example, the Ky who came out as transgender in high school and got the girl of his dreams. That wasn't the main point, but it opened doors that morning that made me think differently about my journey to financial freedom.

It reminded me that it isn't all about what you do, but who you know, and how, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a lot of these rich LDS members have their success because of those two working in conjunction for them. So this morning, I was researching the richest people in my state where they work, what they do in their pastimes, which led me to upscale networking events and summits, and it dawned on me that religious places of communion are some of the best places for strong networking and growth in one's career.

At first I was upset at my Oversoul because researching these religious organizations ironically opened a door to a love I could have had if I was strong enough to come out as transgender in high school, and made me realize how many times that love between us was felt but not opened because I wasn't ready. And since I'm fairly multi-dimensional already, I could step into that love and it was so sweet, innocent, and beautiful. I could tell that probable version of me learned many lessons on how to be a wonderful boyfriend that I could eventually download in due time through meditation. 

I'm still gleaning from that probable past that never happened and what my Oversoul wanted me to get from it. I don't know for sure if it was just that, or if it was encouraging me to go back to the Mormons to learn from them about financial success, what it means to be a good boyfriend, etc. I'm at a point in my life where I know I wouldn't be lost in the sauce and carried away by the dogma due to my sustained connection to my Oversoul, so perhaps it wouldn't be a problem exploring, knowing I won't be stuck on the bad parts that keep many Mormons from advancing their consciousness beyond certain limits in the first place. In short, we can learn from everyone, regardless of nation, ethnicity, creed, or religious doctrine, and I'm aware of the many blessings of lessons from the Mormons that could await me if that is what my Oversoul was urging me to do.

Yes, at times it could be rather culty and they're currently very against the authenticity and beauty of those who are LGBTQ, but every branch of Christianity will have its weaknesses embedded within them. That's actually another reason why I want to go get financial benefits from them, use the benefits the church offers, and so forth. I'm not sure why that probable version of me fully chose the Mormon church to learn from, but perhaps they were the most open to the massive changes to the religion I would bring. 

On a different note, roughly five years after my butterfly birthday, I've become aware of times when I was in another body during another incarnation. One time I was a little Black boy with a fat dad and mom, and we lived in a pig sty of a home in the ghetto. Another time I was this hot woman. Another time I was a more light-skinned dude, roughly six feet tall, fixing my dreads in the mirror. It was so strange because it was from the perspective of Ky (which is already permanently connected to my Oversoul after my butterfly birthday), but I still didn't know anything beyond what was happening in that present moment. So I knew my Oversoul wanted me to focus on that moment intently for how it could help me in this life. And also, when I do my own work, now I am aware of these other incarnations I've been, and I can actively go and help them out when it comes about. 

Entry 2,543 - Monday, Sep 15, 2025 at 6:50 PM

Here is the fun part of tantra... It's all about moving into that which once scared us for whatever reason.

Whether the reason was we might die, we might lose ourselves, we might become addicted, we don't run from it, we move INTO it and transcend it.

Yoga is like locking eyes with a bull and running for dear life as the bull chases you. Tantra is like locking eyes with the bull and sprinting head on, as the bull sprints head on towards you, until eventually you realize the bull was a hologram and you were stronger than it, because in true reality you are an infinite, limitless, multi-dimensional self capable of surpassing all perceived limitations expressed in fears, worries, addictions, etc.

So the minute I am aware of a fear, even if it is incredibly minute and small, I will race towards it head on until I transcend it. That is how I dissolve my fears. I don't run from the darkness, I become the darkness. I don't run from the fear, I become the fear, and it dissolves away. The only way to become it is to go into it head on and realize it never truly had any grip on you in the first place.

The only perceived grip it did have was based on a belief I had in its ability to limit me, showing that ultimately it was self-created. Since I created it, I could technically run away as yoga teaches, but that gives my limitations power over me. Eventually, transcendence is the way to push beyond the self-created limits.

Even those who follow the way of "do not" and "run from your desires" and "run from your addictions" will hit a point where transcending them is inevitable. It is The Way. All roads lead back to transcendence, which is just a funky word for going beyond the self-perceived limitations we created.

You don't transcend something by running away or saying "do not do this." That is giving your limitation more life, more power over you. You transcend by going head on to that limitation and finding out it only existed temporarily because you allowed it to.

A funny fear that I have is if I get baptized into a particular denomination of Christianity such as the LDS church, I'll get sucked in, conform, and lose myself. These are self-perceived limitations I have created. Though yes, it is possible for anyone to do, it doesn't mean I have to. Especially since I'm aware of it, the chances of that actually happening are tremendously small. So what am I going to do to get past that fear? HAVE THE MORMONS BAPTIZE ME!!!!

As a multidimensional-aware being, I can hold many beliefs at once, and one doesn't negate or compromise another because they are all roads in their own way to the realization of Unconditional Love as the foundation, playing field, journey, and destination. It is supposed to be fun. It is supposed to be challenging. And even though I don't necessarily want to, I want to transcend that fear and show it isn't truly real. The fear is an idea that I create to play in. It becomes more fixed when I add unnecessary fuel to it. But now, my interest is in transcending it.

Entry 2,544 - Thursday, Sep 25, 2025 at 10:03 PM 

Before one experiences going from the cocoon to the butterfly birthday (death day), life is primarily filtered through the ego. Imagine if the ego were sunglasses, and everything you see is filtered through it.

Afterwards, you have the ability to sustain filtering life through more expensive, improved sunglasses, what I like to label the higher self.

The old sunglasses don't disappear; you could still easily choose to fall back to them whenever you feel it necessary or, on accident, when you don't want to.

You can either be intentional or unintentional about it.

Quotes:

"Civilized man is the only animal clever enough to manufacture its own food and the only animal stupid enough to eat it." - Dr. Barry Groves (1936-2013)

"Big tobacco has now become big food. All of those tobacco companies-RJ Reynolds and Philip Morris bought Kraft, Nabisco,  Procter & Gamble. I’m sure there’s others??"  - Anonymous 

 

Entry 2,545 - Friday, Sep 26, 2025 at 9:07 PM 

Poem

I almost feel guilty
Waking you up to this vortex of energy
I know every time I focus deeply on your energy
You feel me
You enter my field
Even though we may be separated by millions of miles
For a split second we enter the depth of depths
Somehow we're united 
I can feel it
See it
Enter it
I have never felt a love so deep so strong so full in this life
The missing part of my soul in you
I know you are worth the wait
And so I wait 

Entry 2,546 - Sunday, Sep 28, 2025 at 8:31 PM

Message from my Higher Self:

"Stop playing small. 
You are robbing people of what you are to fit into something that you already broke out of.
You are taking away people's opportunities to touch their limitlessness when you play as if you can't.
Let yourself be freely you.
Expand. Expound. Teach.
This is the year you go from student to teacher.
Allow people to recognize you for who you are: An ascended master here to set people free beyond the limits they created through their beliefs, religions, and systems.
Do not hold up.
Let people know it is you.
When you do this, you will rise quickly among the ranks of any group, social order, religion, and system. 
People will be forthright in their desire for you to lead them.
This is a part of your calling. 
This is a part of why you came here.
Do not hold back. 
Let loose that which you are.
You know you are connected and one with your Oversoul.
To those in many religions, it is the equivalent of Jesus saying "I and my Father are one" as well as other ascended masters proclaiming intense unity. 
This is your level. 
Stop shrinking away from it.
Stop playing the humility card and step into the new shoes that belong to you.
The council is waiting. 
They have waited a long time for you to reach this age.
They have put much responsibility on your shoulders, and you have assured them that you will do what you came to do.
Now is the time to answer your call. 
Now is the time to not hold back. 
You will feel it rise.
Do not be afraid of it.
Do not worry about it.
It is you in all your glory.
The oneness between You and you.
You know what I'm talking about.
Let yourself be guided by it and follow it.
People will trust your connection and then follow you.
Now is the time to answer the call.
The council is waiting.  

 

Entry 2,547 - Saturday, Oct 4, 2025 at 1:51 AM

What many Christians label as Christ, or what spiritual people label as Christ Consciousness, is what I label as the Higher Self. In relation to Jesus within Christianity, it was his Higher Self. When one becomes aware and acts from their Higher Self, they essentially function as a "savior" for all their past lives and, indirectly, a savior for people present in their lives.

Even though "Christ" is used generically as the saving essence for this world within many religious and spiritual frameworks, it is actually highly personal and uniquely connected to one's Oversoul.

Just as each person now has had millions of unique lives, all those lives encompass, within a Higher Self. And anyone can get to the point Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Yogananda were at, where that Higher Self is aware of themselves in their current life as their human self, also in connection with more of who they are (Higher Self), and their innate connection with more of who they are (Oversoul), or, as many would label it, "God". 

Higher Self is like the lifeline between the current individualized consciousness in the human body and the Oversoul (your future self a gazillion light‑years ahead in the future).

Higher Self is like a reasonable bridge between the two. Entering and maintaining that consciousness in the physical body is possible and a goal for every human being that can be reached. It's where you remember multiple past lives and see each life, and the current one, more like a video game to explore unconditional love personally.

Your Oversoul is incredibly personal. It is unconditional love, personal to YOU. Beyond the Oversoul, love is impersonal. It continues on eternally, infinitely, as it is. Oversoul is the closest thing any human has to a God that cares. I'd say anything beyond that feels like an impersonal record‑keeping device that is ever expanding as it records every minute memory.

There are religious beliefs and ideas that say the ego doesn't exist, but I don't think that's a carefully thought-out way to express it. I get what they are trying to say, but it's still off. They're trying to compare it to the existence of unconditional love, which has always existed.

I believe a better way to view it is that unconditional love alone means nothing by itself. It could be compared to a memory stick or a hard drive. It is the foundation for everything, as everything. Then the ego, all our adventures, duality, and so forth exist on the foundation of love forever and ever.

Before unconditional love is felt as impersonal, there is the Oversoul that makes it all so very personal and connected to you in some way.

Your ego doesn't get less and less as you grow in consciousness. It actually gets bigger and bigger. Its growth is symbiotic with consciousness. As you embody more and more of your Higher Self, your ego is able to hold multiple dimensions at the same time, multiple stories, multiple dualities, without threatening its existence.

Whereas before, perhaps you only thought Christianity is the true way and all others are false, you will know your consciousness and ego have grown when you can see more pathways as also valid ways of experiencing unconditional love from a particular vantage point.

Your Higher Self may still seem so ethereal. Let me use an example to help bring it to more understanding. Imagine each human life as an ego is a piece of chewed gum. Then each chewed gum is put on the others, which makes a massive ball of chewed gum. They retain their own little gummy ball, but they came together to make this massive gum ball, now given a name that represents having the consciousness that is aware of all these past lives it has lived: the Higher Self.

In a way, we are unconditional love, and we are also part of the memories written on love with joy. Some would argue our egos aren't real and don't exist, but others would point to what matters most: unconditional love cares enough to record every single minute happening for infinity because it can't help but love and adore us.

Which brings me to my last point, unconditional love expressed in human form is memory... remembrance... Think deeply about this because it is the crux of it all in every life.

If you focus on remembering more about someone and you make an effort to show them that you do remember, what does that signify to that person? That you care enough about them to remember. How does that make the other person feel? Loved! Love is memory! Memory is love! They are inextricably linked.

Many will argue about what came first, the chicken or the egg, but really the more important question is what is loved versus merely love existing with nothing to love. You see, love and memory cannot help but be true complements of each other. Our human relationships of husband and wife mirror the relationship of love and memory. As above, so below. As infinitely, so infinitely.

Yes, deep down love is in it all, but memory is also in it all. You in your current incarnation was, is, and always will be. You will never not exist. The ego's fear of nonexistence is really its fear that it is unlovable, and that fear originates from not remembering its foundation, which is LOVE.