Entry 2,562 - Entry 2,570

Entry 2,562 - Tuesday, Oct 14, 2025 at 10:25 AM 

Memory and love

Represented on Earth as the Father and Mother

Memory of all the events that ever happened to you is recorded in pristine condition.

Each memory, no matter what goes on, is foundationally permeated with love.

That's the process of balancing.

That is why meditation can seem so hard at times.

Memory of hard events that still haven't been permeated with love in the form of acceptance (each memory is already foundationally love) bubbles up from the body, back up the spine, into the brain to be activated.

Until it is permeated with love, it remains in the body as trauma. This trauma causes blockages in the energy centers that manifest different issues depending on what part the trauma affected.

Once the trauma is seen, accepted, and permeated with love, the energy center is released of that knot of energy (imagine a vortex) and rotates more in accordance with the body. As more trauma is permeated with love, more of the energy at the base of the spine can rise up and create an orgasmic bliss with or without physical sex, depending on the crystallization of the body.

Over time, this permeation of love changes the energy centers to be similar to the pineal gland's process of developing very small crystals that act as conduits to hold more precise energy.

This makes the travel of energy from the base of the spine up to the top of the pineal gland much easier and more rapid. When a certain level of crystallization of the body happens, one does not need physical sex nor masturbation to experience an orgasm.

One could experience the effects of this energy released naturally or easily. For me, I've had it released at the gym while working out, right before work, or simply out and about.

Imagine before this crystallization of the body, the Fibonacci energy at the base of the spine is like Sleeping Beauty trapped behind a trapdoor, and you with your own free will are the one who chooses when to unlock her.

The only way she can get out is if someone unlocks the trapdoor (masturbation, sex). But then, no matter how hard she fights, she is stuffed back into the tower with the trapdoor locked. Depending on how fast she can run (how efficient your energy centers are based on how much trauma is stored in the body), she may only be able to run one step (red ray), two steps (orange ray), three steps (yellow ray), four steps (green ray), five steps (blue ray), six steps (indigo ray), or seven steps (violet ray); she will eventually be stuffed back into the tower behind the trapdoor.

Eventually, over time, the Fibonacci energy is able to come and leave due to any sort of bliss. There is no longer a lock on the trapdoor (masturbation or sex). It is unlocked. As before, it was unconsciously locked by not yet having permeation of love in areas of the body that needed them the most; now one can freely release the Fibonacci energy without any physical effort necessary. It can be accessed by feelings of joy and bliss beyond those activities. At that point, it feels almost like sex is a spiritual act with every and all in the universe.

This crystallization of the body opens the trapdoor of the powerful Fibonacci energy at the base of the spine. Imagine the crystallization of the body as a beanstalk that pokes a strong hole through the trapdoor, where it can come out when it feels welcomed to do so (spiritual sex is a metaphor for bliss). When the body reaches a certain level of bliss, whether short in duration or longer lasting, naturally the Fibonacci energy at the base comes out.

It all comes down to how much memory held within the body (including the brain) has been permeated with love. 

Entry 2,563

A misconception I had years ago about the Law of One material by I Am Ra was that when one goes through their 3rd-density balancing, they become less emotional when they become 4th density, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

As I read about the refining from 4th density to 5th and the jump from 3rd to 4th, some intuitive knowing allowed me to better grasp what is going on.

In 3rd density, a major issue is the emotional freedom of love in every emotion. It doesn't mean that as someone evolves to 4th density they stop feeling emotions. Rather, the natural evolutionary progression is that the emotions they once felt are now much more permeated in unconditional love.

It is a new type of experience that many in 3rd density are not akin to. It may be experiencing intense anger, but that anger is permeated with love. One may experience hatred, but there is an inward knowing that the hatred is actually, in its simplest form, love. Love permeates emotions much more deeply and it can be felt. This makes feeling emotions so much richer, deeper, and more intense.

I feel so foolish thinking that 4th density would be less about emotions and more about love, but that goes to show my consciousness was not able to grapple with the permeation process of each emotion by an evolved love from an evolved consciousness.

Emotions are not something to run from, but to embrace and run into. It's like the sun. No matter where you run or where you hide, eventually, in order to change and evolve, you must face your emotions. And knowing that you can do so with love makes it ever so much more enjoyable. Yes, there may be certain emotions that at first feel painful, but remembering what the Buddha said, "anicca," the impermanence in everything, eventually that pain will change into something else, and love helps that process to come about. 

Entry 2,564

I cannot stress this enough: the mind/body/spirit complex is all interconnected.

If someone looks sick, fat, very unhealthy, etc., in their body, that means their mind and spirit are also very unhealthy.

The body is a very fast and efficient way to view the current health of a person's overall mind/body/spirit complex.

Similar to how people have worked to create an objective barometer for what constitutes extreme ugliness in terms of looks to extreme conventional attractiveness, one can use the energy centers—blocked or unblocked—as a barometer to gauge, overall, where they are in their consciousness.

Obviously, as one evolves their consciousness higher, it gets easier, but it can still be done. Even if one is conventionally attractive, if they have a ton of blockages in their energy centers that you may not have, there still may not be attraction. 

Personally, I believe when one evolves their consciousness forward, they work hard to improve the major and minute parts of their body in a way that makes them more attractive over time. I believe the evolution of one's overall consciousness includes body, mind, and spirit, not just spirit as many mainstream religions stress.

You will see in many mainstream religions very unhealthy, obese, unhygienic leaders leading whole congregations, and it is most definitely concerning. Yes, I know there will be people who will argue that there are very "good-looking" individuals leading people to their demise, but my point still stands clear. Just because someone is negatively oriented and has chosen that path doesn't mean they stop evolving forward. They merely evolve forward on that line of development and encourage others to do so themselves.

On the grand scheme of things, eventually the negative path is dissolved and becomes one with the positive path, but it is still a rougher, more suffering-filled path that they are taking. BUT it does not mean that they are "less healthy" than the obese, sick-looking man. The negatively oriented path continues past eons and eons of time. One advances regardless of the path. Just because they are negatively oriented does not make them "less evolved." It merely makes them "more negative."

For example, if you were to have an obese, ugly, sick-looking man named Bob who was on the positively oriented path at, say, a consciousness level of 180, and then an obese, ugly, sick-looking man named Tom on the negatively oriented path at consciousness level 180, Bob is not "more evolved" than Tom. Although, yes, naturally, being on the positively oriented path involves much less suffering, that is merely based on experience, not on determining consciousness level. Yes, Tom will suffer much more, but again, he is no less. 

Entry 2,565

For my own personal experience, just like, as a trans man, I do not neatly fit within the confines and perceived limitations of fundamental Christianity, I also do not fit neatly within the confines and perceived limitations of the belief system shared by I Am Ra.

This whole "you need to pick a polarity and stick with it for a gazillion years" feels on a similar vibrational field as "you need to believe Jesus died for you being sinful, even though you were born like that." It just fundamentally has major loopholes in logic, and the fact that I don't even fit within the confines of the belief system is enough for me to know it is one interpretation of our evolutionary journey out of many. It is not set in stone at all.

Just as I can appreciate bits and pieces within the belief system of Christianity, so too can I with I Am Ra's belief system of reality. 

Most of the time, the reason I spend time rereading it is that, strangely, it feels close to home. One, it recognizes and affirms the existence of aliens throughout the universe. This is monumental in the face of mainstream religions that have a rather narcissistic viewpoint of entities not human. In mainstream religions they emphasize demons and angels in relation to what is happening on earth. Not much is said about them in their books besides them fighting wars on earth and worshipping eternally in heaven to a God who supposedly doesn't need it but has it happen nonstop for some reason. Again... doesn't make much sense.

I read it because it is very optimal for helping me remember things from my own memory complex before I came to earth, while I was in 4th density. The vibrations feel very similar and almost peaceful. Imagine having a family tradition that you've been doing since you were a kid and looking forward to it when it comes up. It's that same type of feeling. It feels connected to my heritage in a fascinating way.

The best way I can describe it is: imagine the mainstream religions now on earth. Whether they like to admit it or not, there are a lot of similarities between them. Yes, some may be slightly more advanced than others, but the fact that they are mainstream means they are marketable to the masses. And if David R. Hawkins' calibrated consciousness levels are correct, that would mean they are attractive to those on average around 200 for a particular reason. They resonate in a way that makes them mainstream and enterable. Then on earth, you have the mystical aspects of each religion that are not mainstream, but rather where a small minority partake in them. These tend to be much higher in consciousness but require a higher consciousness to really appreciate them, rather than be afraid of them. 

Those with lower consciousness levels may even hear the word "occult" and shut down. They may instantly believe it is of the devil and not take a step further in investigating it, because that is what they were taught to do by their mainstream religious leaders, who were taught by their religious leaders, and so forth. But for the brave and for those who can handle it, even if they may have a little fear, they can get past their mainstream religious programming and investigate what it's really about.

That's what I and so many others had to do, and once I did, I experienced a massive jump in consciousness that eventually brought me to where I am today. Although, yes, I do have certain advantages due to coming from a 4th-density planet to serve here on Earth temporarily (using I Am Ra's framework of Wanderers and densities), I still must go through an arduous process of breaking free from limiting beliefs meant to keep me enslaved and obedient to mainstream religious power and control.

But similarly, just as Earth has mainstream religions with elements that are identifiable as 3rd-density beliefs akin to the mainstream collective consciousness level, the "I Am Ra" group of entities also have their mainstream religions with elements that are identifiable of their particular density and average level of consciousness. And if these are groups of entities that are sharing this belief system, then it makes me assume even more that it is pretty mainstream as a belief within that density, and on that particular planet inhabited by those entities. 

And if that is the case (as above, so below; as on Earth; so on another planet), then that would mean that there must exist mystical branches of each of those religions that dive deeper, higher, and more weighty into the spiritual ideas akin to that density.

For example, use Dr. Foster Case and his study of the Tarot. The mainstream use of Tarot is fortune-telling, but what Dr. Case has remembered based on his past lives is something much deeper and higher for one to delve into. It is about tapping into the collective consciousness of images to develop a well-rounded personality, which helps one be able to help others. If one cannot even help themselves, how on Earth are they supposed to help others?

Like I've mentioned countless times before, my spirituality is connected to my body and mind. All three are interconnected. When I see someone who is obese, who looks sick, wobbling, with terrible hygiene, opening a pack of powdered donuts while they put gas in their car, and then they try to give me spiritual advice, why on Earth would I listen to that person? To me, their authority went out the window. How do they expect to help me if they are in dire need of help themselves? Imagine going to a doctor who is trying to help you fight stage 4 cancer but is actually going to die sooner of stage 4 cancer. It just doesn't make sense. The least likely, but still possible, source of help is if someone is a little better than me in terms of body, mind, or spirit, but, again, that will always be reflected in the body no matter what.

The body is a projection of the mind, and the mind is a projection of the spirit. There is no way of hiding where one is evolutionarily with their consciousness. The body operates similar to a book. You can "read" the pages and know quite well where someone stands, especially as you progress consciously. Before, when I was at lower levels of consciousness, I wasn't very aware of where people were at consciously because, to be honest, I didn't even know where I was! My barometer was according to my mainstream fundamental religion: Christianity. So if they told me they weren't a Christian, I thought they were "not yet saved, on their way to hell," and they needed my prayers desperately, because for some reason Jesus wasn't enough for them to be saved. Make it make sense. If Jesus were enough in that religion, then they wouldn't need me to pray; they would simply receive the gift of salvation.

But now where I'm at, I'm aware there is evolutionary progression of one's consciousness (body/mind/spirit complex), and then there is one's innate oneness with the divine at all levels of consciousness. The fun in life is helping others remember who they are (one with God), and we do that by helping ourselves and others raise their consciousness through our own evolutionary progression. 

But anyways, the vibrational feeling I get from the Ra people is that of the mainstream belief system found within their collective society. It is not end-all, be-all. I think I am able to understand this due to my own remembrance of my 4th-density roots and my current level of consciousness. Just like right now, my consciousness is multi-dimensional enough to juggle multiple belief systems and not have an identity crisis, I am able to do that as well for the next density of evolution (those that are above 3rd density).

This makes me think of what Seth said when he was channeled through Jane Roberts. He said that many people who believe in their respective mainstream religions on Earth will have guides and guardians who help "play out their mainstream religions' beliefs about the afterlife," and then, when they are done playing them out, they will go back to the drawing board, do some sort of learning and playback, and then reincarnate somewhere else.

Now could that possibly be the case with Ra and their beliefs? Yes. Could it also be very close to the system of our universe and in accordance with it? Sure. But ultimately, all beliefs are playgrounds for consciousness to explore, so if I don't want to be confined to a positively polarized path for trillions of eons, then I don't think I have to. I still believe the only limitations that exist are the ones I believe exist, and when I remove my belief in them, they cease to exist.

Now I will say there is a major advantage to following any belief systems that use our own physics and chemistry as the foundations for one's evolutionary progress within their body/mind/spirit, because they are already fundamental building blocks we can study in the real world and have a general consensus in agreement that they exist. This would bring us together and create a much less dogmatic religion. 

You'll notice how many mainstream religions have very dogmatic offshoots that have gone out of their way to steal, kill, and destroy in the name of the God of their religion, such as the Abrahamic faiths. In my opinion, this is a result of having so many beliefs and concepts resulting from hoity-toity concepts made in the clouds of nothingness. The whole "sin doctrine" is a perfect example of that. It is so filled with erroneous, nonsensical, illogical ideas that, at this point in my consciousness, it's painfully funny but also sad at the same time. It's like if someone were to go up to you and say, "Did you know pigs can fly?" You'd look at them as if they were a nut because you know that isn't logical nor would it even make sense. That is how I see the terribly thought-out sin doctrine.

It is not grounded in reality in the slightest. This idea that we were born into sin AGAINST OUR WILL???? But then they believe in free will? It makes absolutely zero sense. But I can understand from my consciousness; it is obvious, but from someone who is scared to death to die and was born into the religion and never questioned it, they will believe it even if it is illogical. Even if they have doubts, their fear of eternal damnation is stronger than their ability to counter illogical beliefs using logic.

They took Jesus' words, injected some of their own words and ideas (there is no way John 3:16 was from Jesus), and used it as a very powerful mechanism to keep people followers of their religion using fear, not love. It would be one thing if love were the main motivator for someone to be in one of the mainstream branches of religion, but that's not often the case. Just like sex sells in entertainment industries, fear sells in religious industries, and that's why it has been ramped up throughout the centuries. 

Entry 2,566

I cannot help but feel extremely naive. After reading Book 1 of Law of One after many years, it is so, so simple. Serving others is how one polarizes positively. Love is the way. Religion is fun, but service is key. 

Entry 2,567

Really, a more accurate depiction of religion is good-hearted service to others attempting to create religions to grow closer to God, then the Orions (service-to-self, negatively oriented entities) come around to try to screw things up.

Their favorite tactics are to recruit known narcissistic entities craving purpose and power (Saul of Tarsus). They give them some percentage of good stuff and whatever percent pure shit, which begins the degradation and decline of that religion.

Take, for example, the times recorded in the Bible where apparently "Angels of God" threatened to kill them if they disobeyed their orders. Sounds so much like coming from an unconditionally loving source such as the I Am! 

Entry 2,568

For the longest time, I despised religion. I hated how there couldn't be something that was truly a replica of God in love. I hated the corruption. I hated the good mixed with the bad. I hated that no matter how much God tried to get through to man, man seemed to screw up somehow.

But then I realized that hatred of a religion was actually a projection of my own hatred onto religion. It was my refusal to accept my own incorruption... my own faults... my own shortcomings. All of that which I hated about myself was thrown onto religion, and so I hated it, profusely.

I wrote pages and pages of all the issues, problems, areas of confusion, and illogical doctrines espoused by religions. I searched religions not to find God, but to show they were from man. I did not stop. My hatred grew, but then, after two years in grad school, my inner artist saved me. It reconnected me to the infinite artist in ways I could never imagine.

It showed me that religion is, in its own way, art that we paint... stories we tell... ideas around bigger ideas around bigger ideas, all meant to create shapes to play in for a little time before we move to the next space to play some more. One sandbox is not better than the other, just different.

Of course there will be corruption, but love will still be there. Of course there will be major screw-ups by leaders of religions, but love is still there. Of course people will use it as a weapon, but love is still there. Of course we could sit all day and compare and contrast which religion hurt fewer people, donated more, and so on, but love is still there.

My artist has once again saved me. I watched Life of Pi tonight at the Fabulous Fox Theatre and was reminded I was here to create art in whatever form, and now I accept that my art will have both corruption and incorruption. It will be a paradox where both love and hatred coexist, the reality and illusion wrapped in creations of my own making. It will contain multitudes of meanings, emotions, ideas, beliefs, songs, paintings, plays, and more. It will be disastrously but beautifully imperfect in all ways possible, but I no longer fear it.

Yes, people will take it and probably make it even worse, but that is their art. Just as people have been taking from religions that preceded it, or were born around it, all our art somehow will come together and testify that at the center of it all is love. 

Entry 2,569

Literally a few days ago, I was leaning on the Law of One being more of a mainstream religion of those in higher densities, but now I feel the Law of One is not just that, but something much deeper. All religions, deep down, point to One. Eventually every duality becomes One. I think it is much simpler than I was making it out to be. Perhaps if you were to imagine Russian dolls: the tiniest dolls are the 3rd-density religions, then the next up are 4th-density religions, then the next bigger doll is 5th-density–like religions, but ultimately the Law of One taught by Ra encompasses them all as the "biggest Russian doll."

This analogy seems to fit much more than it being merely a "mainstream religion of another density." Just as we are on a planet in the galaxy in the universe, the planet Earth could represent 3rd-density religion, the galaxy could represent a 4th-density religion, and the universe could represent the 5th-density religion. Then the multiverse (universe within a universe within a universe) could represent more and more beliefs to play in, but it is ALL encapsulated within the Law of One. Deep down and all the way up, it is all still One. One unified One. How we get to the One is our own adventure, but one thing we can know for sure is that there is One. 

Entry 2,570

After about a week of re-reading the Law of One and taking a deep look at how much I've either been staying stagnant, de-polarizing my positive polarity, or polarizing my positive polarity, I've had some major breakthroughs by keeping this in my awareness in a semi-meditative state throughout my day.

First, I'm remembering what Jesus said when he said, "Unless you become like one of these children, you shall not enter the kingdom of God." A certain all-pervading level of joyful exploration, natural dopamine release by the smallest things that I once had as a child, is returning more and more as I polarize more positively. I am also remembering why in the Bible it says it is more "blessed to give than to receive." Each time I give, I polarize more and more positively, making the world around me transform more and more into the kingdom of heaven.

As a child, merely looking out into the grand landscape of the earth would send a rush of joy, wonder, and amazement through me that I could not describe. Now that is returning not only sometimes, but is being sustained more often than it was when I was a child. 

Life is becoming happier, more filled with joy, laughter, and good vibes. I believe the loneliness I was able to peer into was the future of my many lives if I had chosen the negative polarity. It only gets lonelier and lonelier as one needs to enslave more and more under one in order to advance in one's own density, knowledge, and wisdom. Not only that, but the emotions of hatred and jealousy grow more and more as one wants to become more than the master they must follow, and a hatred that they are not yet there with more power. A seething, uncomfortable jealousy is real on this path, which is depicted wisely in Star Wars.

Anytime I peer down that timeline of events, it's nothing but loneliness, followed by feelings of an emptiness that is never satisfied, a lot of jealousy, desire to control, and desire to be in power. I also get the feeling that, as Ra mentions in the Law of One about the negatively oriented entities called the Orions, they have sophisticated knowledge of how to send out these large broadcasts of telepathic dreams, ideas, and thoughts to people all over the world receiving more power. Then, depending on their reaction to it, they try to subtly manipulate that person to continue to follow the direction to receive that power without outright telling them that they are embarking on a journey full of suffering, low satisfaction, and a lot of undealt-with trauma formed into weapons to dominate more people.

I think the closest thing to an actual cult is something that is destructive with the intent to create negatively polarized individuals who stay negatively polarized. It operates very similarly to a pyramid scheme. They embrace narcissistic, psychopathic, and sociopathic tendencies in order to grow in power and control. When they demean and degrade others for their own enjoyment at the expense of others' happiness, they let off some steam of their undealt trauma onto others. Others become their punching bags, slaves, and worker bees, and no matter how long they stay on that path, they. will. never. be satisfied. 

 Their hunger for power and control will be their main energy source to evolve forward in the densities of many lives. For wisdom will be their main goal, not unconditional love, due to its ability to depolarize their negative orientation and set them back. After eons and eons of wisdom chasing and unconditional love rebuking, they finally will reach a point where they cannot run from unconditional love forever and will reach a point where they finally accept the other polarity.

With nothing left to dominate or overpower, they will accept both polarities are a part of themselves by accepting unconditional love into their field and journey onward to the infinite Creator.

As hard as the path of negative polarization is, they serve just as much an important purpose as the positive polarity, as they help reveal what love is not, to show what love truly is. They let consciousness play in many playgrounds of realities so to help it further explore itself in infinite ways.

Though I would highly recommend no one embark on the path without unconditional love, as it is truly filled with bloodshed, suffering, and pain, many still will embark on that journey.